Thursday, October 13, 2011

Bring me an old priest and a young priest.

Guys... my toddler is possessed. It's the only thing I can think of. For the past 18 months I've been smugly congratulating myself on what a sweet, smart, funny little girl I have, and what a great mother I must be. She loved everybody, smiled constantly, loved to give hugs and kisses, slept through the night, and worshiped her mama.

And then she turned two.

Some effects added.
(I totally photoshopped in the pile of laundry behind her.)

Like a light switch, she has changed. There's a lot going on at home, I know that. Mama is stressed, Daddy is working long hours, the Boy went back to school, Baby is getting older and demanding more of my time, but a lot of it is just her.

She was late to talk, but when she started, she said things like "Elmo!" and "Up, Dada!" .. sweet, angelic little  girl things. Now? Now she screams GO AWAY and NOOOOOOOOOOO and I HUNGRY WANT CANDYYYYYYYYYYYY.

I'm trying my best to be patient and gentle with her, but let's be honest, guys. I'm not a patient or gentle person. Generally, when somebody screams GO AWAY in my face and then smacks me, my reaction is "Fuck you, asshole." followed by.. well I would say some form of violence but I'm also chicken and scared of being punched back so mostly I just complain on twitter and send snarky text messages to the Big Guy.

But when it's a kid doing these things... when it's YOUR kid... you have to keep it together. You can't react how you would if ANY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET did these things to you. I mean, I get it, she's my baby and I love her more than any other person (minus 2 others) in the whole world, and I don't ACTUALLY want to tell her to eff-off... but for just a split second, for a brief moment... I do.

I really. REALLY. do.

And just when I think I can't take it anymore...
That's nail polish on her face, and highlighter on her hands.
She sleeps. And I remember that she's my baby.