Sunday, May 20, 2012

DIY Kettle Corn In the Microwave

First, I'd like to thank you guys for being patient with me while Minion and I have been sick. Turns out we have whooping cough! How freaky is that? We're on some pretty awesome meds now though and doing much better. For everybody who kept up through the Facebook page, thanks for your well wishes and prayers while we were in the kid's E.R. with Minion. Y'all are the bestest.

And now... a recipe. Cuz these antibiotics have affected my gastrointestinal tract in a bad, bad way and it's hard to be funny when you're on the toilet 9 out of every 12 hours.

My friend Susie from Earning My Cape posted on Facebook about how much she loves Kettle Corn, but how gross the stuff you get in the microwave popcorn section is. It is pretty gross, all chemically and nasty and God knows what's in it. So I thought... hmmm... I can solve this problem!!! I saw on Pinterest a while ago a way to make popcorn in the microwave using a brown paper bag.. do you know this trick? Simply put 1/4 cup real popcorn in a brown paperbag, roll the top over a few times, and nuke it for 2 minutes. BOOM.

So... I messed around until I made DIY Kettle Corn*.

DIY Kettle Corn*

Special equipment:

brown paper bag

1/4 cup popcorn
1 tablespoon oil
1/4 cup sugar

Put the popcorn in the bowl, and add the oil and toss. Once the popcorn is well coated, add the sugar and toss. When the popcorn is well coated in oil and sugar, dump it into the brown paperbag. Fold the top over 2-3 times and put in the microwave and nuke it for 2 minutes (or until the popping slows to 2-3 pops per seconds) Take it out of the microwave and carefully open the bag. Salt to taste and shake the bag vigorously.

This shit it hot. Seriously. When you first take it out of the microwave, IT'S HOT. Hot sugar is hot. It's good, but give it a damn minute. If you burn yourself, don't come crying to me, k?

Don't skip the bowl step. You can't coat the popcorn in the oil and sugar in the bag - if the bag gets too oily, it'll catch fire. Trust me.

Do I have to tell you not to staple the bag closed? I don't, right?

You can go as crunchy as you want with this. Me? I did cheap Wesson oil and plain ol' white sugar but if you wanna be all granola, then bust out your coconut oil and your dehydrated organic cane juice (which is freakin' sugar, btw) But seriously... this is cheap, easy and AWESOME. Does it get any better?

No. It doesn't.

*I had to add this because Big Guy went on a rant about how it's not kettle corn if there's no kettle. So this is for him. It's kettle-style corn. But that's stupid sounding.