Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Driving Force

So it's the day I've been anticipating for YEARS. I finally got my drivers' licence! Yessssss! I've had it for just over a week and though I don't have a car yet, I've still managed to get around quite a bit, thanks to my Mom letting me borrow her car.

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A lot has changed since the last time I drove -- it's been 6 years, so I shouldn't be shocked -- and I'm not good with change. I don't think anyone wants to read a disorganized rant on the problems with the Texas road system.... so I'll use bullets.


  • Speed Limits -- 75MPH!!! That's really fucking fast. When did this happen? My first ticket was for going 66 MPH -- now you want me to go even faster?!?! I'm on the toll way a lot and cars are just flying past me - I'm struggling to keep it at 70 and they're going 80 or 90. This is anxiety inducing. 
  • Flyovers -- when did we get these sadistic motherfuckers? I have to drive a zillion miles an hour, a zillion miles in the air, on a zillion degree curve? Awesome. Thanks, Texas. 
  • Cops -- I'm perfectly legal, the car I'm in is perfectly legal, I'm sober, I'm not speeding, I'm not transporting illicit substances, and as a middle aged white lady, I'm unlikely to get shot for scratching my nose - but if there is a cop within sight, I'm going to panic. This does not lead to my finest driving. 
  • Trucks - the big ones. On the tollway, we have 18 wheelers going 80-90 MPH. This is terrifying. 
The upside is - I'm loving being mobile. The kids and I have been going all over, and I even got to go to a crochet class all by myself! It took a long time to get here and I'm excited to start this new chapter! 


Monday, November 17, 2014

Scenes From A Yard

I've spoken briefly about our new house - and honestly, I've been too busy fixing it up to really write much lately - which is why I haven't talked about it more. Big Guy has been busting his ass putting up siding, adding facia board (betcha don't know what that is! I do. Now.) and other important, manly, house-type-shit. 

I have zero skills in that department, so there hasn't been a lot I can do to help - until this weekend. This weekend was pure grunt labor - and that I can do. The former owners left a lot of crap behind in the yard - more on that soon - so we had to clean out the shed behind the house, that was FULL of their stuff - and fill it with all our own shed type stuff, that had been in the front yard.



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Found this box of old Motown records in the yard! Warped and wet, but
 I offered them up for free on Craig's List and a music lover rescued them 
and is going to try to save them!

We also had to clean up the yard so he could mow that grass. It was also cold. Cold as fuck.

After a big fight about whether or not I had to wear gloves (He was right. I totes needed gloves) and a fight about the right way to sweep the shed (I was right, but we did it his way because it was too cold to argue) we got into a good rhythm.



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Even with gloves, my hands got fucked up.
 Also, it took me way too long to figure out that I couldn't take a picture of both
 of my hands at once with my iPhone.
I'm not exactly sure how it happened, but the floor of the shed was full of screws, tools, bait, live ammo, cardboard, wood scraps, leaves, and other shit when we moved in. We sorted it into piles - stuff it's safe to burn and stuff that needed to go in the trash.
Him: make sure you don't accidentally put any ammo in the fire
Me: okay!
Him: seriously.
Me: *makes very sure no ammo goes in the fire*
Fire: BANG BANG BANG
Me: OH FUCK!
Him: DAMMIT EVIN!
Me: I checked, I swear!
Him: heeheehee I put firecrackers in the fire when you weren't looking!
We worked out in the cold from about 9:30 am until about 4pm, and boy was I glad for the fire. I have to say - as I was scraping up sticks and wood scraps from our TWO ACRES, and loading them into the wheelbarrow, it was very gratifying to know that when the wheelbarrow was full, I got to dump it into the fire. Apparently, setting shit on fire is good motivation for me. We stopped briefly to eat lunch that Big Guy picked up when he ran out to buy a trashcan - fried chicken strips, gravy and mashed potatoes. We scarfed it down super fast and went back outside to work, which was NOT good for my digestion


Me: *looks around to make sure Big Guy isn't nearby*
Me: *realizes he's behind the house*
Me: *farts like a man*
Me: Aaaahhhhh. Yessssssssss.
Me: *works a little more*
Me: *farts again even louder*
Him: SERIOUSLY?!? I heard you from like 100 feet away!
Me: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

 We got so much done, though, and I'm really proud of us! According to my step counter, I had 8,122 steps yesterday, and my daily goal (that I almost never meet) is 6,000. I took advil before bed and slept like a log, too. The outside of the house and the yard look great, too!

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Friday, November 14, 2014

Holiday Gift Guide 2014 - Jord Wood Watches

The following is a review of Jord Wood Watches. I was provided a product sample for free to review. All thoughts are my own, and I received no financial compensation other than the product. 

I'm going to feature a few things I think might make good gifts for the holidays this year... so expect a few of these posts as we gear up for Christmas!

The folks at Jord Wood Watches contacted me and asked if I'd like to check out their watches and I was honestly a little hesitant. I looked at the website and the watches are beautiful, and we all know I like pretty... so I said yes.

Why was I hesitant? I'm gonna share a dirty little secret with y'all... I can't tell time on an analog clock. Yes, I am 37, why do you ask?

When the watch arrived, it came in a gorgeous box, with a pretty pillow thingie:

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I slipped it on and suddenly, I felt a burning desire to learn to tell time, so I sat down with Demon, and her Telling Time with Elmo book, and we learned together! Now this watch is a regular part of my wardrobe, such as it is. We all know fashion isn't my thing, but I get so many compliments when I wear this watch! (Compliments on the watch, that is.)
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The one I picked is the Fieldcrest Black, which works for both men and women (I had Big Guy try it on and it looked great, but I forgot to take a picture and I'm kinda scared he'll steal it if I let him wear it again) and they have a ton of other options.

My thoughts on the watch:

1. I have an allergy to metal - my skin breaks out like crazy when metal touches it - no jewelry for me - and even the button on my jeans irritates me, if I don't cover it. The wood on the watch is pretty but also really functional for me!

2. The watch keeps time really well. That's rather important.

3. This model is a little big for me, they have more delicate ladies watches, I kinda wish I'd picked one of those-  but that's my fault, not theirs.

4. Learning to tell time is important.

5. Wearing a watch makes me feel like a grown up.


This watch, and the company, is pretty great. I'm really happy with it - they'd really make great gifts for the holidays or graduations. This is so different that even someone who already wears a watch regularly would enjoy it as a change of pace - and they're pretty well priced, considering the quality and uniqueness of the watch.

Check out Jord Wood Watches - which one would you order??