Tuesday, March 24, 2015

I am done.

I have a habit of giving up when shit gets tough. See, my whole childhood, I was good at shit. I never really had to try. So I never got into the habit of TRYING. I just did stuff and it went well. So when I was a teenager and shit started to get hard, I had zero coping skills, so I would just quit. I failed geometry three times and barely graduated. In college, I took "finite counting" - the easiest math class they had, so that I wouldn't have to try at math. I always thought that if it was hard, it wasn't worth it.

Now I'm 37. And shit is hard. It's real hard. Motherhood? Hard as fuck. Love? Hard. Homeownership? Hard. Laundry? Well.. you know. And it's all worth it. (Except maybe laundry.)

The taco thing? It was scary. And it was hard. And I wanted to quit. I texted Shelley the Wednesday before and told her I was going to bail. And that bitch played me like only a best friend can. She didn't try to talk me into it. She simply said "okay" and changed the subject.

"OKAY?!? I'm going to quit and give up on this thing I've been excited about for weeks and she just says OKAY? Bitch probably doesn't think I'll win. Fuck her. I'll go and I'll kick ass. I'll show her! "

It's not easy to admit when you've been played - even if it's for the best. And I'm so grateful she did.

So I'm done giving up when shit gets hard. Hard is worth it. (That's what she said! .. Please forgive me, I have a TWSS condition.)

Example: I've been working out at home every day. Mostly so I can eat more and be less fat but I'm noticing it's helped my mood and energy, too. (Who knew?) Yesterday, I was doing my YouTube yoga video and doing some Warrior 3 pose... ate shit. Seriously wiped the fuck out. Honestly wish I had video of it, I bet it was hilarious. A year ago? I'da been down for the count. No more yoga ever. Instead I got up, backed up the video, and started again where I left off. I finished the video and still managed to get in another 20 minutes on the elliptical afterwards.

So this is all to say -- opening my own business is going to be HARD. Really hard. And I'm going to want to give up. But this is my declaration of intent. I am done giving up when shit gets hard. I'm gonna ride this motherfucker till the very end.

Y'all with me?


Monday, March 23, 2015

Award Winning Avocado Ranch Dressing

Technically I guess the tacos won the award, but the ranch was a big part of that. I've had a bunch of requests for the recipe and I wanted to get it out into the world, because it's really good.

It's also really open to interpretation. I'm not going to beat you up if you do it different than I do, and it's going to be awesome no matter what you do, I promise. Unless you add mushrooms. Because mushrooms are gross.

I can't lay claim to the spice blend I used - I use this recipe from Mother Huddle - it's the best ranch recipe I've ever tried. I like it because instead of making a huge jar of the crap, it makes one batch. That's as far ahead as I can plan, y'all. Take life one batch of ranch at a time, that's my motto.

Now let's go back to this "interpretation" thing. I'm not gonna lie. There are times when I don't have the give-a-shit to make up the spice mixture, or I'm missing a key ingredient. (Mostly the first thing though) and I'll use a packet of Ranch from the store. Nobody's perfect, y'all. It's still really good that way. For the contest, of course, I went whole hog and used the "real" recipe, but I can't promise that next week I won't use the packet. Just make sure you use Hidden Valley. The store brand isn't worth the 50 cents you'll save. Yuck.


Avocado Ranch Dressing With Cilantro and Lime

1 batch Ranch Dressing Mix (just the spice blend)
1 cup sour cream (full fat, low fat, fat free can be used, also whatever form of plain yogurt business you enjoy) 
1 cup mashed, ripe avocado
2 limes
2 garlic cloves
1/2 bunch cilantro

Add the sour cream and avocado to the blender, then juice and zest the limes and add that. Add the garlic cloves and the spice mixture and turn the blender on. While that is whizzing, roughly chop the cilantro. Turn the blender off and add the cilantro, then pulse the blender to combine. 

Set in the fridge and let sit for at least half an hour before using. 

Drizzle on tacos, salad, tater tots, pizza, eggs or simply pour directly into your face. 


Monday, March 16, 2015

2015 SXSW Taco TakeDown

(This is a a repost - the original post had some seriously fucked up coding errors so rather than try to fix them - and probably break it more - I decided to scrap it and start over)

This weekend I competed in a SXSW SouthBites event called The Taco TakeDown. I always brag about my tacos (See here) and I decided to put my money where my taco is. (Wait.. what?)

Armed with tongs, a shit ton of grease and my bestie by my side, I strode onto the field of battle.

And I fucking won. I showed those motherbitches how tacos are done.


I made my crispy chicken tacos - which I have linked above, with a radish corn slaw as a garnish, drizzled with Avocado Ranch. The slaw really was hugely popular - in fact, the local paper dug it so much they posted the recipe! 

A photo posted by evinschmevin (@evinschmevin) on
(I can't show you a picture of the actual recipe cuz then you won't wanna buy the paper, blah blah blah - but I'll probably post it in a few weeks because what the hell, right?)

I won a shit ton of cool stuff, too - a food processor, a mandolin, a fancy-pants knife and a microplane. It's all still in the packages, a week later, because I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up. Like I do.

If you want to read a more detailed account of the event, along with the other competitors info, check out the official TakeDown recap here.

The avocado ranch is amazeballs, y'all, and I'm working on posting that recipe ASAP for ya. (Edited to add: Here's the link for the ranch!)

This win has really sparked something in me - and I've decided to open a booth at the local farmer's market selling tacos. It's a first step towards my own food truck. So I'll be begging for your support and encouragement - I tend to get pouty when shit doesn't go my way on the first try - don't let me give up, y'all! Okay? Okay.